Nightmares
by Dulharpa
Summary: Alexander has been having nightmares for months, Eliza wants to do something to help. Hamliza modern au


**This is my first ever fanfic I've finished or posted so be kind?**

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Silence, in Alexander's opinion, was a rare thing to come by. He strongly disliked when it was quiet because of the hurricane... it was a dark time for him and he never liked to dwell on it.

That was why he tried to keep busy and have noise somewhere; even the noise of his own foot tapping would soothe him. As long as it wasn't completely silent he was fine.

Where is Eliza anyway, Alexander thought confusedly, she should be back by now.

"Eliza? Where are you?" Alexander whispered under his breath, his eyes darting around the apartment. " 'Liza?"

He opened the doors and quickly peeked in, a blue piece of clothing strewn on the floor caught his eye when looking into Eliza's bedroom.

Why is the cardigan on the floor, he thought with his brows furrowed, she never put clothes on the floor, especially that one, she always draped it on a chair or hung it up somewhere. In fact, he got it for her on Eliza's 20th birthday, two years ago. It was her favourite item of clothing too, it was rare when she even took it off, which made it all the more stranger.

Walking quietly into the room, he picked up the cardigan and placed it onto her chair, near her dressing table. But when he drew back his hand he saw a lot of blood left on his hand and there was only one conclusion he came to.

"ELIZA?? Where are you??" The 23-year old shouted. Hearing a whimper from her bathroom, he scrambled over to the noise.

The light reflecting off the tiles was blinding but all that he could focus on was the dark-red covering his girlfriend like a cloak of blood and the liquid drip, dripping down the drain.

"Eliza," he said weakly, already rushing to cradle his love in his arms, not worrying or caring about the blood staining his clothes, "Please," he whispered, "stay alive."

Checking her pulse at the neck he could hear the beat going slower. And slower. And slower. And then, nothing.

Gasping, he sat up in his bed, feeling the sweat cling to his face and neck and the wet tears streaming down his face.

Blinking furiously to get rid of the black spots (and the tears in his eyes) he looked down trying to compose himself.

He didn't want to move but he had to check so he tiptoed into Eliza's room, desperately ignoring the mirage of blood on her cardigan on the mahogany chair.

Quietly he snuck into her bed; knowing she wouldn't care that much, and she would understand the need. He had to know she was alive.

For a while he just stopped twisting the sheets and looked at her. Eliza truly is beautiful, the brunet thought, the best thing in my life.

A rustling of the sheets alerted to him that he awoke his dearest Betsey,

"Come back to sleep, darling," Eliza murmured, half-asleep.

Smiling bitterly with some tears still left in his eyes, he replied, "I can't..." the "I'm too scared to" wasn't said aloud but it was implied. He knew that she heard that part, it was one of the reasons he loved her so much.

"Alexander..." Eliza scrunched up her eyebrows before moving closer to her stubborn boyfriend. Eliza held her arms up, the universal gesture for a hug and waited patiently for him to take her up on her offer.

Alexander folded in and snuggled up to his girlfriend, one of his bestfriends, and leaned into her warm, loving embrace.

"I'm here Alexander, okay? I'm alive now and if I have anything to say about it, I'll be here with you, as long as you need me to be," Eliza promised, smiling gently but you could see the worry clouding her dark eyes,

"I know, Betsey, but it's been going on for months and-" Alexander said no more for a change as his words escaped him,

"Come back to bed that would be enough," Eliza sang, as she wasn't completely sure what would comfort him. And when she was sure that Alexander had nothing else to say.

Alexander attempted a brief smile and hugged Eliza; they cuddled for the rest of the night (and slept in each others arms)

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Gunshots. Cries of pain. Fire. Explosions. Pain. Eliza! Blood. Screaming. Dark eyes. Pulse slowing. Blank eyes

"No!" Alexander was up in a heartbeat, an image of blank brown eyes branded in his mind, with sweat sticking his hair all over his face and neck.

He felt saliva building up in his mouth when he tried to make his heartbeat go slower. Swallowing his warm saliva he felt more build up. Realising the symptoms, he flung off the bedsheet covers and raced to the toilet bowl.

Alexander gagged, and some vomit came to the back of his mouth, then right after, a huge upsurge of vomit came into his mouth. Letting all of the vomit out of his mouth he could definitely recognise some of last night's food.

He could feel some of his shoulder-length hair getting sick on it and promptly sticking to his face once more, but honestly he couldn't care any less.

Feeling vomit coming up again he leant over the toilet seat and vomited some more out. This time he heard a gasp and footsteps coming nearer. A gentle hand pulled his hair away from his mouth and squatted next to Alexander.

"Shh, Alex, I'm here. Your Betsey is here, I'm here with you, I'm not dead, listen to my heartbeat. I'll be here with you until the end of the line, stay calm, love," a voice said to him, trying to console him.

They were both bending in front of the toilet for a while, Alexander soaking up Eliza's love and Eliza staying silent with her comforting presence. Alexander puked the last of his lunch out during this.

"I think this put me off of food for a while," Alexander said, trying to make a joke to ease the cloud of depression hanging over them. Eliza smiled a bit from the joke, knowing that he wanted to hide his weakness though he didn't need to hide it from her.

"Alexander... maybe for the week you should come and sleep with me?" Alexander looked slightly alarmed so she quickly added on, "It won't make much of a difference, we already sleep together for the second part of the night." Alexander's mind was whizzing while he thought over it but before he could speak Eliza placed a finger on his lips, "Think over it before you decline, tell me tomorrow. Let's just get you cleaned up."

Alexander looked at Eliza strangely, a sort of mix between content and a more... passionate look that Eliza just couldn't decipher (it might have been love, she thought, they called each other pet names for fun, we don't mean it, or so she thought).

She stood up and pulled her boyfriend up, and nudged him towards the cream sink and turned the tap on, checking it was the right temperature. Filling up a cup of the water, she handed it to Alexander and gestured for him to take it and gargle it.

Sitting back, Eliza watched her mule-headed boyfriend clean his puke off of him. She lightly wrinkled her nose from the smell and flushed the toilet trying to get rid of the stench, it didn't really help that much to be perfectly honest.

Finally Alexander finished his cleansing and nudged his girlfriend who had put down the toilet lid and was drifting away with her hands as a pillow.

"You know that you could've gone back to sleep,"

"Of course I knew, I didn't want to leave you alone," Eliza replied.

"Now come on," Alexander pulled her towards her bedroom, "I think you've lost enough sleep already."

Eliza complied with the action and allowed herself to be drug back to her room, smiling at him all the way.

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Throughout the next week Alexander and Eliza slept together in the bigger bed, that is to say, Eliza's bed.

Alexander's nightmares still came though less frequently but never as bed as before.

Sadly, Alexander still had flashbacks; most of the time blood, and blood on the bathroom drain (sometimes on a bad day he saw blood on Eliza's cardigan but it got better as time went on).

When Eliza found out about his bathroom issue a couple of years later, she and a few other friends renervated the bathroom into a spare room and used Alexander's old one as the main bathroom.

A few years later, Alexander and Eliza were still together and Eliza no longer felt worry over their relationship.

The spare room, once again with help from John, Hercules and Lafayette, was changed into a baby room for the expecting baby. The three men all argued with the colours but they eventually settled on a pastel purple for little Philip.

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 **Anyway I hope you like it!! I'm sorry about the pov change around the middle and I hope it didn't throw you off too much :'**

 **Tell me if you like it or whatever, I crave acknowledgement ;)**


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